The Vegan Diet Plan
That means you don’t like hurting things.
Or maybe that you’re just into health and bad science.
Either way, we’ve got you covered.
And we’ll make you healthy, in spite of your determination not to eat all the things that keep the human body strong.
With our help, you’ll be like a tiny foreign car that runs on dandelions and urine.
The vegan diet is a diet about compassion.
It’s eating things… that care.
No, it’s not eating things you care about.
No, it’s caring about what you eat, so you choose not to eat it…
Wait.
Ok, I just write the copy.
I’m going to get my vegan nutritionist.
I’ll be back.
So as it turns out, the vegan diet is about a non-violent approach to eating, and offers protection against cancer, arthritis, obesity, and various other unfortunate conditions.
Vegans must be careful to keep their dietary practices within certain parameters, however, to avoid deficiencies that make them look like AIDS patients.
Some vegans also eat way too much chocolate and get fat.